The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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