didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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