Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
