just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
