You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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