So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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