I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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