dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
