Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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