I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
