you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
