I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
