Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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