I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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