Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
