last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
