If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Randomize
