She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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