I CAN MOONWALK!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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