Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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