I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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