According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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