She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
