i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
