I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
