come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
