Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
