good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
