And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
