I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
