Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
