i think my mom watched the whole time
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You smell like stripper and shame
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm both gender and math confused
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
