Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
