p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
