i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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