Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
