i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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