When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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