doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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