i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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