In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
