turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
