i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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