he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
