i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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