He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
