my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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