i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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