I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Me too!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
