I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
