Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
