Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
A+ Viking dick
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
