I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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