I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
