Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
