I faked an abortion last night.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
